Looking at the stars

Not too long ago I placed an ad looking for a roommate. Of the many responses I received, some I asked to come for a showing and an interview, and others I merely thanked for their interest. Typically, half of the respondees are out-of-state young men or women who desire to move to the area. Although some have employment lined up, there are others who assure me that they'll figure something out after they arrive. They don't know exactly why they are drawn here, but deep down there's a hope, a longing, to fill the emptiness in their heart. It's admirable, taking that leap of faith, and much like Oscar Wilde's quip, "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Perhaps I could be more trusting, but I prefer to have something a bit more reliable.

But I know what it's like. When I met Theophane the monk, it was love at first sight. Immediately I knew that I wanted to be a Religious. It took a few years of discernment before I embarked on the journey, but it was a purpose to which I was called. I thought my life issues were finally resolved, so I left everything to give everything that I had.

It was like that for Jesus. We read today that for some reason he leaves his home and makes his way to the Jordan River. He's baptized by John, and the Spirit propels him on his life-long mission. "The time is fulfilled," he tells us, and life - his, and ours - was never the same.

We recognize these times as life-changing events - a once-in-a-lifetime dream come true. But it's not like that at all. In reality, every moment is life-changing. I pondered this last night while on an evening's stroll. While looking at the waxing crescent moon in the western sky, I wondered about the planet that trailed closely by. Venus, the Roman god associated with love, shown ever-so brightly with Jupiter at a distance. Tonight, the planets reverse. Jupiter, the god of the sky, overtakes her. I then thought about the political world where Christ overtook Jupiter as the principal deity of the Imperial world. I was reminded how things change, and as such, we never live happily ever after. We my be lost. We figure it out and try our passion. Then change occurs and we must discern again. When I  got home, I watched a favorite movie, "The Singing Nun," and felt the yearning for the Convent overtake me once again.

When we give our lives fully to our purpose, just as the Christ gave his in every way and in every situation, this is a self-emptying kenosis. It is no longer I who live, says Paul to the Church in Galatia, but it is Christ who lives in me." This is the spirit of love that fills us. The divine love which we are ultimately called to be for others and for ourselves. Do we have a plan or are we going where the stars lead us? It's not always easy to discern, but if we follow the faint stirrings of our heart, we may find that we are inching closer and closer to god.

love, always,

pia