"Why do we we do this?" queried the Right Reverend Bishop Winterrowd prefacing the ancient rite he was soon to conduct. It's a pertinent question because we typically react by rote, undertaking acts without the slightest understanding of their significance, or perform overwrought analysis ensuring suitable results. So he asked the faithful congregants, why are we baptizing these children? Without hesitation a young girl sitting at the feet of the cleric bravely spoke up, "We're here to bring them to god." The bishop was startled and well pleased with the naturalness, sincerity, and ease of the response. Without any prompting or coaching came a theological message of acuity well beyond her years. Through sheer innocence she got straight to the point: A direct line from egoic obscurity to cosmic origin. We are here to get closer to god.
Unfortunately, like a circle whose physical reality transcends its center, we live at the periphery. We are trapped outside, defined by our achieving mind, and can't find the key to the soul's door. We try one thing and then tangentially another without referencing our true and intimate nature, and never get closer to getting in. Until we enter into the calm of our immutable and real home, we dwell homeless in the extremities of relentless and unpredictable thoughts, feelings, and desires. We are unmindful of our true home - the existential reality that houses our authentic origin.
"Life can never be known at the circumference," says the Indian mystic Osho, "Life can only be known at the center." Yet we have lost our center by living chiefly in the analyzing and calculating mind. But the center has never left us, nor can it ever leave us, we have simply forgotten where it resides. We have become unaware of its peace living so far away in the orbiting periphery of engaged thought. The mind has us locked securely in a room forsaking the heart.
And that's where we find the disciples the evening of the resurrection. They have lost their master as well as their center. They are scared and disconnected from their inimical truth. Having no certainty, and even less security, they hide in the mind of disassociation. Yet with the Johannine Pentecostal greeting, "peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you," Jesus sends them forth from the heart. Immediately reconciling them to their sacred center, their "suffering begins to dissolve" as Pema Chodron says, "when [they] question the belief or the hope that there's anywhere to hide." They recognize their deeply rooted connectedness to life and find perfect shelter at their center. There, nothing is missing nor is there any desire. The disciples are complete and from their heart can testify with an overdue Thomas, rejoicing, "My Lord and my God." As such, they know why they are there.
When we are aware, we know what we are doing and bring ourselves closer to god. Only then do we know our innocence and become fully alive. That is what is meant by being centered. It is saying "yes" from our balanced heart center to the ever-changing uncertainty at the periphery. That's why we're here: To get closer to god.
pia
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