a gift

My father's birthday was a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, it's difficult to buy him a present because, first of all, he doesn't really need anything, and secondly, he humbly admits that he doesn't want anything. Maybe birthdays remind him of his age, and like me, we'd both prefer not to get any older than we are. But I wanted to celebrate and give him something I thought he might like. Anything. Simply as a token of my love and happiness that he is my dad. 

I have always liked birthdays. Perhaps it's because it's the day we get showered with attention or maybe it's just cake and presents, but whatever it is, a birthday makes me feel good, important, and above all loved. On the other hand, there are people like my father, who eschew the day - and presents in particular - modestly thinking that it's a burden on the giver. But the giving is equally important as the receiving. Maybe more so because we get to show our appreciation and gratitude even if the gift is a trifle.

At one time or another we have all been given a special birthday gift, one that stands out from all the others. I recall a memorable sixteenth when my father and I drove out to some long-forgotten Long Island locale in the old Pontiac Grand Prix station wagon to get a bicycle. John Lennon's "Be Bop A Lula" was blaring on the radio which was significant simply because we weren't listening to classical WQXR. I loved that bike, yet some of the most precious gifts are the little ones without monetary value. Surprising my mother a few years ago by just showing up on her Denver doorstep when living 2,000 miles away was unforgettable. Regrettably though, there are other gifts we don't even remember having received or not recognized until much later. 

When I was young I received a gift I couldn't play with, wear, or physically use. It didn't feel like a gift but it was something I have cherished my whole life. It was the gift of love from my very dear friend, Margot, who recently passed that is worth more to me than any present imaginable. And today's gospel speaks of this same gift. 

At a prince's wedding, where everyone has been invited, a guest is tossed out for being improperly dressed, that is, coming without a wedding robe. The robe is offered to all and is a symbol, as Saint Augustine says, of "love that springs from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith." Margot had that gift.

We are free to make the choice; to accept or decline the king's gift which is constant, persistent, and a repeatable invitation to god's great party. I'd like to return my friend's gift now - not exchange it - but share it with her husband Jerry, the immediate and extended family whom I love the same as my own, and all their friends who knew her: To share the gift of love.

Intangible gifts are under-appreciated and are often oblivious to many of us. Others don't care about them or think they have little value. Some take them for granted or feel as if they were entitled to them. But the gift of love is the greatest gift and it is the one gift that we can't live without. It is a gift from god and the only one worth giving.

love, always,

pia