left behind

This past Thursday was Ascension Day, the day the Church commemorates the rising of Jesus reuniting with God. To be honest, I wasn't in Church to celebrate, but only for choir practice. I needed to be there because I am seriously behind in my musical studies and have been sight-reading more than performing these past, well, let's just say I don't even want to recall how long it's been. So getting a brief preview of the scores at rehearsal is better than coming in blind. With all my commitments, I just haven't found the time to practice. It's exasperating as I'm getting further and further behind. Each activity is accomplished just barely in time, and my life feels like it's at the edge of shambles. Any minute things could derail resulting in dire consequences. And there goes Jesus on his merry way to god, leaving the rest of us behind.

Great. Thanks a lot, son of man, did you notice that I could use a little help down here? I have been scrambling at work as well. There has been no time to breathe, to recuperate from the last mad dash to the next finish line. Proposal follows never-ending proposal; interview and special request run concurrently in competition. There is no end except to my energy and waning enthusiasm. Projects, if started, remain unfinished and others are getting left behind. I just look the other way, but now there's no where to turn without seeing something left undone.

Even consecutive recreational and extra-curricular responsibilities vie for attention and priority. I bear the overdue deadline of my editor for the story and photographs about last week's music festival (Shameless plug: Read the story about Summer Camp at festivalpreview.com - that is, if my editor has the story up yet). I'm a half beat behind on everything and what about all the other things I want to do? Though I did attend a half-day volunteer meeting for the bike collective yesterday, I missed out on tai-chi twice last week, a Friday party, a Japanese tea ceremony, and a concert last night, only to name a few. I need to be two people to get done all that I have on my plate.

It's strange but that may be just where the spiritual quest wants us to be. We are told Jesus glorifies god by finishing the work he is given, but if that's the case, god's not looking too favorably on my efforts right now. Contrarily, we're not to be overworked and filled with anxiety, but coming to the understanding that we devote too much time and energy to the corporal half of our being and not enough to the spiritual half. That being divided into two, as we often are, is not getting twice as much done, but enjoying life less than half.  

John tells us that Jesus prayed, "Protect them…so that they may be one," united in body and soul, without division, to enjoy - to live - life fully. He continues, "And this is eternal life, that they [meaning, you] may know [god], the only true God." However, we are called not simply to be - as in the duality of human being versus human doing - but to find acceptance in the satisfaction of both. Neither extreme is our home. What is essential is embracing the natural peace of who we are. Yes, it is good to step back from the hectic pace of our everyday lives, but don't leave any part of yourself behind.

love, always,
pia